Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
