escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
