if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
