i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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