For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The Olympian is in my bed
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
