She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
