So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
