i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
