Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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