It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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