Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
