some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize