what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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