weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
