i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
