Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
