Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
and she was petting her beer can
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
