Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Two words: nipple clamps
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