sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
