Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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