Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
