This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
