it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize