508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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