I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
