ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
