How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
