ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
