sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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