I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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