I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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