but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
