he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
