Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize