I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
