I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
