Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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