Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
