My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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