im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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