you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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