u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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