Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
