Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
