so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
