Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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