her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
