Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
