theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
