Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
