Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
