Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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