Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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