so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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