I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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