He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
