hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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