Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home

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(817): View more from Texas

I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.

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(409): View more from Texas

I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.

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(447): View more from

Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole

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(865): View more from Tennessee

oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves

(1-865): View more from Tennessee

GET OFF YOUR PHONE

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