she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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