brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
