dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
