Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
