When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
